I’m a legal alien
I’m not homesick. That’s not what this is.
The keener eyed of you will have noticed that I wrote a story last week that I then went on to delete. It wasn’t quite complete and felt a bit too raw to share in such a level of my incomplete description. The problem being that so much of the description lies in the experience, which none of you could ever have had. At least not in exactly the same way, as it’s mine. You didn’t know my family. I’ve put the story back up, but know I may be the only one to undertand it quite.
I get updates from NPR (national public radio) which give me interesting photography stories, high quality news and tips on new music. Yesterday I was sent some links to listen to Moby’s new album. This track struck a chord with me and when I found the video, even more so. The simple line drawn alien conveys more to me about how it feels to be outside of one’s country, one’s culture, and one’s family perhaps more than I could have expressed in writing. Notice that the friends he imagines and draws for himself do not only look like him, but move like him too. He smiles, until they fade away.
I didn’t know a line drawn alien could break my heart.
Difference is good. Difference is important. But understanding is comfortable. And death is so final. I didn’t realise, until recently, that in embracing difference that I would be giving up so much understanding.
I left without realising that I could never go back. And without realising that no one would wait for me to try.
“Put me on the train, send me back to my home
Couldn’t live without you when I tried to roam
Put me by the window, let me see outside
Looking at the places where all my family died”
Tags: death, difference, family, youtube
June 29th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Watched video. Brought tears to my eyes, lovely girl. Can not imagine how poignant it must be to feel like that!
My American colleague is moving jobs soon. I believe that one of the reasons is that she handled the recent major changes in work in a very un-British manner. It was difficult for all, and I actaully understand why she behaved as she did (I get the feeling that many of my co-workers do not). I wish her well. I was thinking, as I read your post about right and wrong, that the way you and she both think is very similar sometimes. I cannot help but conclude that it is cultural, in many instances. It must be hard for you, but I love you – with all of your unfamiliar ways!
HUGS