the last burnt sienna crayon

I am trying to teach my daughter about saying sorry. I wonder how it can be such a natural thing for a child to not want to say “i’m sorry”. and for that matter, I wonder at why so many adults have it in their nature to avoid it too.

I wonder at the reluctance, when my own inclination is to say it so often. I have been told, I say it much more than needed. I suppose I want to fix everything, and even though I know that I can’t, I want people to know that if I could, I would.

I’m probably going about it all wrong. Whatever I’m trying to do to teach this little girl about saying ’sorry’ will probably see her end up in therapy in 20 years time with a guilt complex.

What good is ’sorry’ anyway? It doesn’t change anything. Perhaps I’m just too cynical now? Why say it anyway? Habit, perhaps? It can’t fix anything or heal anybody or undo what has been done. So why bother?

I guess I just wish it could, so I keep hold of the importance of saying it. While all the time not believing it will do any good.

Sorry for me is a desperate attempt to undo the state of things. Sorry for her is simply the overwhelming and uncomfortable confrontation that the state of things is because of something she did. Is there any kind of healthy balance in between guilt and denial?